Mamas are your first friend, your first confidant, your first everything. You hide in their skirt folds. You hold their hand in the mall. They teach you to wear makeup, do your hair and countless other "firsts". They listen to love woes. They wipe tears. They (lovingly) tell you when to 'buck up'. They coach you through baby jitters. They smile when they feel like crying. They give up their slice of pie, when they really want to eat the whole thing. They teach us, girls, how to be women, wives, mamas and friends.
To those who never had the privilege of knowing their mama, I am deeply sorry. To those who only got to know them for a short while, I am deeply sorry. To those who have been mothers to the motherless, bless you.
So seeing how important mothers are to us, how can you explain a peace in your soul after losing your mama? You can't.
I CAN say that "there's a peace I've come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail. There's an anchor for my soul, I can say 'it is well'."
I don't have to say that I like it.
I don't have to say that it's easy.
But, I can say "it is well".
Even when my heart is breaking. Even when my flesh feels angry. My soul grabs on to that anchor that steadies me while I learn to cope again.
"Jesus has overcome and the grave is overwhelmed. The victory has won, He has risen from the dead. I will rise, when He calls my name. No more sorrow, no more pain. And I hear the voice of many angels sing, 'Worthy is the Lamb'. And I hear the voice of every longing heart, 'Worthy is the Lamb'."
Lord, You are worthy. You are holy. My heart hurts, my tears fall, normal is long gone. But Lord, YOU are worthy all of honor, all glory and all praise. In You I find the peace that passes ALL understanding. Thank You, Jesus."
Little bit of chaos. Little bit of fun. Little bit of life. Whole lot of love.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
My Little Valentines
Jeremy knows I don't need flowers. There were plenty of sweets at the school party. I got to eat school lunch with my man. Hmmm-romantic! :)
However, I wanted my babies to go to their party at Miss Margo's.
I wanted them to have the Power Ranger and Hello Kitty cards to hand out.
I wanted to give their own goodies-Jackson's was Batman stuff and Kennedy's was Princess stuff. Awww...:)
But most of all, I want them to know today and everyday that they matter more to me than all the flowers, chocolate and fancy dinners in the world. I want them to feel loved forever...unconditionally...deeply.
Sometimes I feel like I fail. Sometimes I succeed! Sometimes, I just don't know. Sometimes, I need help. Here are 100 ways to be kind to your child. I've already found about 100 I want to try tonight! :)
Maybe we can do one a day. 100 days of kindness. Wouldn't that be nice? Oh, and then REPEAT!
Love to you and your little boogers!
*Singing His Praises*
~Jeremy keeping the kids Sunday for the church party, but sending me home early so he didn't have to worry.
~A snow day all by myself yesterday! What a treat!
~Parents and in-laws who will keep grandkids at the drop of a hat.
~Jeremy driving all the way here just so the kids could have their Valentine's party with their little friends.
~Jeremy eating school food with me, just so we can have a Valentine's "dinner".
~Getting to spend an evening with my little Valentine's
~Take out food and paper plates for a busy and tired mama
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The Snowy Day-Today and Five Years Ago
Today was a snow day. School was cancelled, the kids and I played CandyLand and watched way too many episodes of "Power Rangers" on Netflix. I caught up on Words with Friends and uploading pictures during naptime. Laundry isn't done, but it's going. The house is clean(er) and the dishwasher did my duty for me. Pretty good day!
However, five years ago today the infamous "Ice Storm of '07" made her appearance. Jeremy and I lived in Bolivar in our tiny apartment, where many of our close friends lived also. I taught 4th grade at Fair Play Elementary and Jeremy worked at Radio Shack. We were kid-less. Young. Adventurous. We survived five days together, without electricity, heat, and showers (well...I took an ice cold one after eating breakfast in a smoky diner on day three. I thought I would catch pneumonia and die but it was better than smelly like an ashtray.). Our food was put in a cooler outside our door.
We had one of our biggest disagreements when I went against my husband's wishes and stood in line for half a day to buy a $100 kerosene heater. I still bear a scar on my left thumb where a sheet of ice slid off my back window while unloading that thing. It was our battle that we never spoke of during that time, but was the big white elephant in the room. Part of me wanted him not to enjoy any of the heat, while I knew part of him would rather freeze than warm his toes by the orange flame. Funny!
We had friends over to sit around a candle laiden room to eat sandwich meat and crackers. I read oodles of books by sunlight and flashlight. I used the excuse of "maybe we'll have school tomorrow so I don't want to leave", just to see how long we could make it on our own without freezing to death.
I saw God's handiwork in nature so heavy with clear ice that whole trees were uprooted and laying across roads, yards, houses. We took pictures of little Charlie Brown trees on SBU's little campus. We had that eery feeling of being totally alone because at night every light in the town, even Walmart's, was silenced.
Jeremy and I got to spend five days together since neither of our workplaces had electricity. I learned to be thankful for enough money in our bank account so we could eat out for almost every meal and enjoy a little warmth once a few parts of town regained power. I felt bad for those who had kids to feed and keep warm.
I really "met" one of my now dearest friends when I went to take a shower at their place and ended up talking for hours at her kitchen table. We eventually moved right next door to them. Although we've moved away from each other, we can still sit and talk for hours.
So many things have changed in five years-the loss of our first little one we learned was on it's way shortly after this ice storm. The birth of our two beautiful babies that make me immediately start packing my bags to go someplace warm when the lights even flicker! Houses, friends, jobs...the list of changes could go on and on.
Many things have not changed though. Mine and Jeremy's stubborn streak, for instance. (Yep...I admit it and gladly admit Jeremy's as well!) I will say we are more likely to talk things out and see each other's side now than we did then. I still marvel at the beauty of snow and ice. I also remember the power of a whole bunch of tiny rain drops and snow flakes mixed with below freezing temperatures.
Those few days were long, fun, almost unbearable at times and memorable. I am constantly amazed lately how I can see God using even these things for His good. Even in the ice storm of 2007 He was teaching us to be thankful, dependent, and weaving friendships to last a lifetime. I am thankful for snowy days and all the memories...or lessons...they hold.
However, five years ago today the infamous "Ice Storm of '07" made her appearance. Jeremy and I lived in Bolivar in our tiny apartment, where many of our close friends lived also. I taught 4th grade at Fair Play Elementary and Jeremy worked at Radio Shack. We were kid-less. Young. Adventurous. We survived five days together, without electricity, heat, and showers (well...I took an ice cold one after eating breakfast in a smoky diner on day three. I thought I would catch pneumonia and die but it was better than smelly like an ashtray.). Our food was put in a cooler outside our door.
We had one of our biggest disagreements when I went against my husband's wishes and stood in line for half a day to buy a $100 kerosene heater. I still bear a scar on my left thumb where a sheet of ice slid off my back window while unloading that thing. It was our battle that we never spoke of during that time, but was the big white elephant in the room. Part of me wanted him not to enjoy any of the heat, while I knew part of him would rather freeze than warm his toes by the orange flame. Funny!
We had friends over to sit around a candle laiden room to eat sandwich meat and crackers. I read oodles of books by sunlight and flashlight. I used the excuse of "maybe we'll have school tomorrow so I don't want to leave", just to see how long we could make it on our own without freezing to death.
I saw God's handiwork in nature so heavy with clear ice that whole trees were uprooted and laying across roads, yards, houses. We took pictures of little Charlie Brown trees on SBU's little campus. We had that eery feeling of being totally alone because at night every light in the town, even Walmart's, was silenced.
Jeremy and I got to spend five days together since neither of our workplaces had electricity. I learned to be thankful for enough money in our bank account so we could eat out for almost every meal and enjoy a little warmth once a few parts of town regained power. I felt bad for those who had kids to feed and keep warm.
I really "met" one of my now dearest friends when I went to take a shower at their place and ended up talking for hours at her kitchen table. We eventually moved right next door to them. Although we've moved away from each other, we can still sit and talk for hours.
So many things have changed in five years-the loss of our first little one we learned was on it's way shortly after this ice storm. The birth of our two beautiful babies that make me immediately start packing my bags to go someplace warm when the lights even flicker! Houses, friends, jobs...the list of changes could go on and on.
Many things have not changed though. Mine and Jeremy's stubborn streak, for instance. (Yep...I admit it and gladly admit Jeremy's as well!) I will say we are more likely to talk things out and see each other's side now than we did then. I still marvel at the beauty of snow and ice. I also remember the power of a whole bunch of tiny rain drops and snow flakes mixed with below freezing temperatures.
Those few days were long, fun, almost unbearable at times and memorable. I am constantly amazed lately how I can see God using even these things for His good. Even in the ice storm of 2007 He was teaching us to be thankful, dependent, and weaving friendships to last a lifetime. I am thankful for snowy days and all the memories...or lessons...they hold.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
A Year Ago...
A year ago today I went to the doctor for my baby checkup.
A year ago Dr. Ajayi stripped my membranes with a 50% chance of going into labor (I prayed I was in that 50%).
A year ago tonight we watched "The Polar Express", not knowing our little family of three was turning into a family of four...literally over night.
A year ago tonight I packed Jackson's suitcase for a fun-filled trip with the grandparents.
A year ago tonight I also packed a small bag for me and Miss Kennedy should she decide to make an appearance...two weeks early. (fingers crossed!!)
At 4:00, I awoke feeling weird. I didn't really think it was labor, but I was hopeful so I started timing them on my phone. At 4:30 I woke Jeremy up. I didn't think I was actually having true contractions because they weren't really that bad, but I wanted him alert! I hopped in the shower and BAM! The contractions started coming. I shaved my legs (who wants to deliver a mommy with scratchy legs?!), dried my hair and put a little makeup on all while Jeremy is running around the house getting things in the car. We woke Jackson up and shipped him off to MeMaw's (his retired babysitter...this was about 5:15?) and FLEW to Lebanon St. John's Hospital.
Jeremy got us there in one piece, even if I frightened him with my "demon voice" along the way. What should have been a 30 minute drive was considerably less. He parked the car in the ER entrance, left it running with the doors open and ran and got a wheelchair. He ran down the corridor to the Delivery Floor and dropped me off to wait for a nurse. After waiting for what seemed like EVER, she leisurely wheeled me through the locked door and asked me to stand on a scale and be weighed. Honestly...I could have hit her (or cried on her shoulder!).
Luckily my doctor was just getting off call and was in the hospital. While we waited for him, I had the pleasure of having a mean ol' nurse in my face telling me not to push! Later, I learned that I loved her dearly because she really was very nice and she really did have mine and little miss' best interest at heart. Finally, I was given a spinal block (HALLELUJAH!) and sweet baby girl was born at 7:55 am, December 30, 2010, weighing in at 7 lbs. 15 ozs, 21 1/2 inches long and two weeks early. We camped out in the hospital with numerous visitors until December 31st around 5:00. Who can sleep in those beds? Oh, and YAY for tax deductions and one deductible! :)
Our lives have never been more full than they have been this past year. We have two of the sweetest, funniest, most ornery but lovable kiddos around. Here's a look back:
A year ago Dr. Ajayi stripped my membranes with a 50% chance of going into labor (I prayed I was in that 50%).
A year ago tonight we watched "The Polar Express", not knowing our little family of three was turning into a family of four...literally over night.
A year ago tonight I packed Jackson's suitcase for a fun-filled trip with the grandparents.
A year ago tonight I also packed a small bag for me and Miss Kennedy should she decide to make an appearance...two weeks early. (fingers crossed!!)
At 4:00, I awoke feeling weird. I didn't really think it was labor, but I was hopeful so I started timing them on my phone. At 4:30 I woke Jeremy up. I didn't think I was actually having true contractions because they weren't really that bad, but I wanted him alert! I hopped in the shower and BAM! The contractions started coming. I shaved my legs (who wants to deliver a mommy with scratchy legs?!), dried my hair and put a little makeup on all while Jeremy is running around the house getting things in the car. We woke Jackson up and shipped him off to MeMaw's (his retired babysitter...this was about 5:15?) and FLEW to Lebanon St. John's Hospital.
Jeremy got us there in one piece, even if I frightened him with my "demon voice" along the way. What should have been a 30 minute drive was considerably less. He parked the car in the ER entrance, left it running with the doors open and ran and got a wheelchair. He ran down the corridor to the Delivery Floor and dropped me off to wait for a nurse. After waiting for what seemed like EVER, she leisurely wheeled me through the locked door and asked me to stand on a scale and be weighed. Honestly...I could have hit her (or cried on her shoulder!).
Luckily my doctor was just getting off call and was in the hospital. While we waited for him, I had the pleasure of having a mean ol' nurse in my face telling me not to push! Later, I learned that I loved her dearly because she really was very nice and she really did have mine and little miss' best interest at heart. Finally, I was given a spinal block (HALLELUJAH!) and sweet baby girl was born at 7:55 am, December 30, 2010, weighing in at 7 lbs. 15 ozs, 21 1/2 inches long and two weeks early. We camped out in the hospital with numerous visitors until December 31st around 5:00. Who can sleep in those beds? Oh, and YAY for tax deductions and one deductible! :)
Our lives have never been more full than they have been this past year. We have two of the sweetest, funniest, most ornery but lovable kiddos around. Here's a look back:
Happy birthday Miss Kennedy Jordan Barnard! May your life be richly blessed and we pray you follow the Lord's hand upon your life. We love you pretty girl!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Oh the belly bug...
Yuck. I know. I don't really enjoy posting that title, but it's true. We aren't the only ones that have been hit recently. My condolences go out to you. :)
Not that I enjoy spending my time cleaning up after the little sick one or tending to my own woes, but it does slow me down. I didn't get to spend time out and about the last few days because who DARES venture out for too long when this mean-spirited bug runs through your system with a vengeance? So we spent our first few days off from the real world at home, in our pj's, stressing but not really caring that Christmas chaos was mere days away. What other choice did I have?
Are my presents (and Santa's) wrapped? Uhhh...no. Are we packed, better yet, are all the clothes fresh and clean straight from the washer? Uhhh...no and definitely not. Is my house company ready? Uhhh...out of all three, this is the closest to being there, but no it isn't. However, we got to watch MANY Christmas specials thanks to our Netflix streaming TV (our new addition after the robbery) and eat candy canes, drink hot cocoa and snuggle on the couch (me, two kiddos and one jealous dog).
So tonight...I will give Jeremy the option to help wrap or clean the bathrooms top to bottom, while I work frantically to pull a miracle out of Santa's red hat. We will both pray that all are well in the morning, Christmas Eve, ready to play with friends, go to bed in new Christmas pj's, open gifts and head to church Christmas morning.
I'm singing His praises for these little ones...
Not that I enjoy spending my time cleaning up after the little sick one or tending to my own woes, but it does slow me down. I didn't get to spend time out and about the last few days because who DARES venture out for too long when this mean-spirited bug runs through your system with a vengeance? So we spent our first few days off from the real world at home, in our pj's, stressing but not really caring that Christmas chaos was mere days away. What other choice did I have?
Are my presents (and Santa's) wrapped? Uhhh...no. Are we packed, better yet, are all the clothes fresh and clean straight from the washer? Uhhh...no and definitely not. Is my house company ready? Uhhh...out of all three, this is the closest to being there, but no it isn't. However, we got to watch MANY Christmas specials thanks to our Netflix streaming TV (our new addition after the robbery) and eat candy canes, drink hot cocoa and snuggle on the couch (me, two kiddos and one jealous dog).
So tonight...I will give Jeremy the option to help wrap or clean the bathrooms top to bottom, while I work frantically to pull a miracle out of Santa's red hat. We will both pray that all are well in the morning, Christmas Eve, ready to play with friends, go to bed in new Christmas pj's, open gifts and head to church Christmas morning.
I'm singing His praises for these little ones...
Mr. Jackson...sick day...beating bad guys as Spiderman.
Sissy (Miss Kennedy) enjoying a candy cane on our lazy day.
My two little precious people. *Sigh* :)
In my life, I find great joy in these small people. I hope you can find joy, love and peace this Christmas and throughout the New Year.
Merry Christmas from the Barnard's
Friday, December 16, 2011
Christmas Blessings
My yearly ritual of sending Christmas cards makes me a little giddy. I make myself wait until after Thanksgiving, but rarely much longer. Dare I say I enjoy this task more than any other? Probably.
Usually I have a thought that keeps rolling around in my head that I feel "inspired" to share in our letter. This year was no different. My thought for this year was blessings, riches, etc... I started my newsletter with a quote that said "If you ever want to feel rich, start counting all the things money can't buy." Being cute I added "So-let me tell you how we became millionaires!" My corniness constantly amazes me. :) However, I was being honest! If we measure our wealth by non-material things we've got it made!
I then proceeded to share all the wonderful silliness that my soon-to-be one year old little girl and three and a half year old little boy bring to our days. I caught people up on our year happenings and besides the kiddos-we're pretty boring (thankfully!). At the end of the letter a scripture kept rolling through my mind and I honestly wasn't sure if it even fit with the whole idea of the letter, but I needed to include it. I mean, it WAS fitting for the season!
Isaiah 9:6 “ For to us a child is born, to us a son is given… and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
I never knew what was to come in just three days.
Right before I folded, stuffed and stamped our cards, our house was robbed. Granted, not everything was taken and the robbers could have done a lot more damage, but our home was ransacked and our sense of security was gone. My thoughts immediately went to the Christmas letter sitting on the coffee table ready to fold and stuff into envelopes with picture cards of smiling little cutie pies. “If you ever want to feel rich, start counting all the things money can’t buy. So-let me tell you how we became millionaires.” Okay God. I’m with you. Yep, we’re still good-with or without that big screen TV, brand new laptop, jewelry box full of nice and/or sentimental pieces and other things. We are still rich with those little blessings that made us millionaires before. Thank you, Jesus, for your peace you place in our hearts and the reminder of what really matters. Yes, I needed to be reminded of this.
Praying for you and yours to find rest and comfort for the following year in THIS blessing.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Little David
Jackson's Sunday School lesson was about helping your family. I love how LifeWay writes their lessons for toddlers...so down to Earth, on their level. Here is his lesson from this past Sunday. (1 Samuel 16:11-12, 17:12-22)
But, are you like me and missed where it all began? I did. David's "daddy" asked him to take food to his brothers and find out how they were doing. So David went. Hmmm...the simple servant act. Dad asked, so I went. David had no idea he was setting out to discover his destiny or setting the ball in motion for bigger and better things. He just went because he loved his father and brothers. Dad didn't know either, he just asked his son to do an act of love.
How often do we do things for our family or our friends OR complete strangers just because they asked or just because we love them? Hoping for no other reward or future gain? Looking no further than fulfilling a need? Sometimes, life really is that simple. "Here am I, send me!" Isaiah 6:8
"David had seven brothers. Some of David's brothers worked for the king. David stayed at home to help his family. David took care of his family's sheep. One day David's daddy said: 'David, get some bread. Take it to your brothers who are away working for the king. Take some cheese, too. Find out how your brothers are doing.' The next morning David left on his trip. He hurried to find his brothers and give him the food. David loved his family and he was glad he could show his love by helping."Now. Raise your hand if something is missing. Yep! You know, the part where David goes to his brothers, finds them unable to defeat Goliath and are all scared. David steps up, gets his trusty sling shot and five stones and lets loose on ol' Goliath. He falls dead. David is a shepherd boy hero and finds himself as the King many years later. Wa-la! Success story!
But, are you like me and missed where it all began? I did. David's "daddy" asked him to take food to his brothers and find out how they were doing. So David went. Hmmm...the simple servant act. Dad asked, so I went. David had no idea he was setting out to discover his destiny or setting the ball in motion for bigger and better things. He just went because he loved his father and brothers. Dad didn't know either, he just asked his son to do an act of love.
How often do we do things for our family or our friends OR complete strangers just because they asked or just because we love them? Hoping for no other reward or future gain? Looking no further than fulfilling a need? Sometimes, life really is that simple. "Here am I, send me!" Isaiah 6:8
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