Trying to Listen

I hear it.  I've been deaf to it for too long.  My head, heart and spirit are screaming for nourishment.  I need to be fed.  I need spiritual food. 

Too many excuses and too much time has passed.

Self help books are great.  Bible study books are great.  But I am being drawn more to the Word.  The breath of my Savior written in on paper...sometimes with red ink.  I'm ready. 

However, I covet your prayers.  I want to be consumed by It.  I don't want to just wet my toes in the shallow water. I want to do a cannonball, right in the middle of it where I will want to stay and splash around for awhile.

Do you hear it?  Dare to come along?

Praises
* A pastor and a hubby who draws me into the Word

I Wanna Be a Cow

We live in a rural, cow-raising community.  I drive 25 miles through pasture laiden highway twice a day. Today as I was coming home I noticed some calves (baby cows for you city-folk!) trotting right along in line with the big'uns.  It got me thinking.

For those of you who know even LESS than I do about cattle, let me "inform" you.  (insert chuckle)  When calves are born they stay right with mama so they get to know her scent, her call, even her hide.  They depend, as most young do, on her for food and protection.  As they begin to grow, they venture a little at a time into the big world.  Mom is never far away, once again for food and protection.  The older they get, the braver and more dependent they become until, eventually, they are eating their own food and butting heads with the other young ones.  Soon they begin following mom to the food down a narrow "cow path".  Every morning and every night they venture down that same tiny trail.  Mom leads them to the source of food.  She never lets them down, so they follow.
The calves that got me thinking were two little guys walking that cow path, bouncing along, one right after the other, in between a whole line of Holsteins.  I couldn't tell who mom was (I bet they still could!) but they were confident that the narrow path led to food.  So they traveled.

I want to be a cow.  The good kind.  The kind who teaches her calves where to find food by faithfully leading them to the Source.  Every morning and every night (maybe even snack time!) showing them where to find the Good Food.  Our kids are hungry and thirsty for comfort and power that only He can give.  If we show them the way as children down that long, narrow path...one day they will be able to walk the path alone, with confidence, and hopefully with fellow friends.

Be a cow!  They've got it all under control. :)

I'd never keep them little...well...maybe.

If I could keep them little, for just a little while, maybe I would.  I have never been one that was saddened by my little ones growing up too quickly.  I've always been the one that is more excited for their firsts than I think they are!  Smiling, crawling (never a dull moment), clapping, walking, talking (never a QUIET moment), praying, noticing planes, hugging me because they want to, all those little things.  However, I do know that this world can be scary.  Hearts can get broken.  People can be mean. Failure is imminent.  That hurts a mama's heart.  I will endure the "teenage years" more than once in my lifetime, I do believe.  So, if I could let them grow up in the shelter of the perfect world bubble, I would.  But would that be living?  Would that teach them to lean on Jesus?  Would that teach them about the need for a Savior?  No.  So while they grow and I celebrate their firsts, I will pray FERVENTLY for their little lives while they are with OR without me. 

Dear Jesus, protect my babies, the babies you gave so graciously to me to hold for a little while.  I know that I cannot protect them better than you and I can't "worry them safe", but please wrap them in your bubble wrap arms so I can cuddle them for a little while longer. 

Pictures can keep them small and capture those precious firsts and little moments, even if time can't. 

Little Mr. Butterball.

Three Little Lady Generations

See...life is hard (but it's SOOOO good).

It was only yesterday...

Chick Food

Jeremy and I often discuss chick food vs "man" food.  Honestly, I like both. Him, he wants the "man" food...steak and potatoes, baby!  Why is it called "chick food"?  Is it because it's usually pretty? dainty? light? (ha ha!) small portions?  (oh please!)  Maybe all of the above.  But maybe we dubbed it that so we would have an excuse to get together with other "chickies" and talk...while eating of course!

I had a chicken salad croissant, potato soup and salad from a local eatery this past week and it got me thinking.  While we ate and discussed how DELISH it was, I started relaxing.  As much as I love my husband, I am sure the dear man would not even attempt a taste test of the fabulous chicken salad croissant.  It WAS pretty.  It WAS dainty.  It WAS light.  And yes, it was even TINY portions.  But the company was great.  Ahhhhh....

The next day Jackson and I went with a church friend and her son to Silver Dollar City.  While the boys played in the backseat, we attempted to hold "chick-like" conversations.  (The boys had helium balloons and Hot Wheel cars.  Enough said about the "attempt" part.)  Do I even need to tell you what they consisted of?  I thought not.  Anyway, our whole day was spent chasing three year olds and talking.  We solved the world's problems!   Ahhhhh.....

Today we got to eat lunch with our Sunday dinner crew, which today was just half.  I got to pick a retired teacher's mind and once again, solve the world's problems.  Ahhhhh...

Tomorrow, we get to have a play date with great friends while the men smoke "men food"  (brisket), the kids spend hours in our new play room and the ladies?  You got it...solve the world's problems.  Ahhhhh...

Now obviously we are  not solving the world's problems, but we are decreasing our stress level as we laugh, joke, cry, vent or whatever else we need to do.  These girls get it.  We've all been there or will be one day.  Girls get other girls.  There is no need for gossip, slander, or malice with these chicas, just good old fashioned "You would not believe what Jackson did!" or "Kennedy learned to clap her hands!" or "Have you tried the Mango Pineapple Smoothies at McDonald's?  YUM!" or "Could you remember me in prayer as I deal with this situation?"  We don't judge, we listen.  We don't gossip, we tell Jesus.  We don't laugh...well, okay.  You got me.

My point is that us girls NEED chick "food".  We crave other sisters who can relate to our situation, our feelings, our hearts.  God love a good man, but even THEY want us to take our "chick food" to another gal sometimes.  We're all in this together.  Love on a sister this week.  Let her bear her soul if needed.  Or better yet, find someone you can bear your soul to.  Grab a chicken salad croissant and a Diet Coke and come on over.  I'm game!

Parenting...ouch.

Sometimes parenting is a walk in the park.  Sometimes, it's the hardest thing you'll ever do.  Tonight it was the latter.
Jackson is 3 years old and has been going through a "false-hood" stage.  Jeremy and I have worked diligently to "train him up" and to know right from wrong.  I'd say we've done a pretty good job because now when he does something wrong (don't we all?) he tries to cover it up.  Case in point: He was wielding his foam ninja sword tonight in the living room while Kennedy and I played on the floor.  He accidentally knocked over an almost empty soda bottle sitting on the coffee table.  Although I did not SEE him knock it over, he frantically scrambled to set it right and said "Oh sorry!"  Being silly I ask, "Did you knock that over?"  He looked me dead in the eye and said "Uh-uh!  Miss Kennedy did it!"  I began to explain all the reasons it couldn't be her so I asked him again.  This time his story changed.  "Uhhhh, I think a monster did it."  He got to sit on his stool for awhile until he could confess his sins.  Later, we found the Ten Commandments in one of his kid bibles and talked about this in depth.  No spankings, just hugs and instructions.
When Jeremy got home I ran through the, now funny, story for him.  He went to ask Jackson about his day and if he got in trouble.  Once again, lies escaped his sweet little mouth.  He was told about consequences if this continued.  We were feeling laid back tonight and let him eat in his room.  He came and told us he had eaten everything on his plate (HA!  This is a rarity.) so we asked again and made sure he wasn't tickling our ears.  Jeremy reminded him of their conversation earlier and he was adamant....big blue eyes and all!  Well, he seems to have a problem. Jeremy found that someone had put food BACK on his plate! He told Jeremy he was ready to eat, but alas it was too late.  He received his punishment, a few hugs and was sent swiftly to bed where he boo-hooed for quite awhile.

Oh how these lessons hurt a mama's (and daddy's) heart!  But, oh the hurt could be SO much greater if our sinful nature was left unchecked.  "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  Proverbs 22:6  Yes, he's only three.  Yes, he's absolutely ADORABLE.  Yes, he cries for mama when he's upset.  But he has been entrusted to us for a short time.  We are instructed to prepare these little ones to be workers in His field.

So now....I go curl up on the couch waiting for him to fall sound asleep.  Later I can sneak into his bedroom to curl up next to him and pray for his little man heart to fully love the Lord.  Please pray for us as we train up these two little'uns.

Singing His Praises
#12  My babies
#13  Jeremy who keeps me strong when I want to melt into those big blue pools
#14  Parents and in-laws that still pray for their two big kids
#15  Brand new mornings that bring brand new chances for little ones and big ones