To My Man

We've been married seven years, together for much longer, but you still amaze me. 

At times I want to ring your neck.  Like when you ALWAYS drop your clothes by the bed and leave them there until I say, "Whatever is dirty, put it in the hamper if you want it washed".  Or when I say "Look at that!" and you take 15 seconds to turn your head.  I just don't get the slow reaction! :)

Other times I want stand and applaud you for what a great husband and daddy you are to me and our wee ones.  Like when you start a water fight with the garden hose because Kennedy's expression is priceless and you want to see how long she'll take it.  Or when Jackson falls down and screams "I want daddy!" while I try to console him, to no avail.  Or when you do silly things in an emergency hospital room while we sit losing our second precious Heaven-baby to make me laugh uncontrollably to try and forget about the trauma for a little bit.  You are also a really good hug-giver and tear-wiper.  We've had it all.

You've had to wear many hats.  You've been good at all of them.  And you keep finding new ones! 

Thanks for loving me, making a special home for us, and for stepping up to the plate when I just had to stay down for awhile.  I think you're pretty great.

A Page is Turned

We made it!  We're in tact!  We didn't fall apart!  The countdown is almost over!  Oh the joy of reuniting our family after 4 1/2 months of chaos!

There were a few times I wasn't sure we would make it.
There were a few times when I thought I might go crazy.
There were a few times when I wanted to throw in the towel, lock the doors behind us and just run away with the kids in the back seat jamming to Veggie Tales.

Obviously, everything worked out and we are turning the page to another chapter of our little lives.  To me, the page is blank. White.  But to God, it's written in bold, black ink.  He knows the very next steps our family will take.  The people we will meet.  The road we will walk down. 

And for that, I am thankful.

About a Million Things I Remember

Just a few things I remember about my mama...

•  watching "Days of our Lives" on her days off and eating Ritz crackers, bread and butter pickles and colby jack cheese (and being named after one of them!)
• raking leaves and burning them in the ditch...sometimes I even wore her jacket.
• hearing her yell "Go Bethie!" at my summer rec softball games and cringing every time
• crawling in bed beside her when I had a bad dream
• sitting on the bathroom floor while she took a bath, talking about my day, and NEVER being asked to leave
• trips to Jeff, just me and her, in the van and getting to talk the WHOLE way
• learning to drive with a very calm, cool and collected mama in the passenger seat
• driving around the block over and over as she taught me to parallel park, without giving up
• watching with awe as she turned my grandma's long, curled hair into the most beautiful bun every Thursday night in Grandma's bedroom
• her smell-a little like perfume and a little like soap.  It was all her.
• how her hair always looked exactly the same-never messy
• how she came to every school function, even in a wheelchair with a broken hip
• how she desperately loved my babies, and would sneak them whatever they wanted, without caring what her OWN baby thought!
• how she couldn't figure out the computer or iPhone and didn't really care to!
• how she let "kid-Kayla" wear awful make up to the store, without question
• when she took the checkbook from my daddy for my wedding and just kept writing
• when she did 32 donuts in the dune buggy and beat everybody!
• that our house was always clean, well kept
• how our clothes magically appeared in our room...CLEAN
• that she could "run" a business full of men and metal with a mama's hand and they loved her for it
• her intense love of all things Diet Coke
• that she called my grandma "Grandma"...to her face...for as long as I remember 
• that she had the same way of hiding her smile behind a fake face of displeasure just like my grandma...just like me
• how she made our home the "fun house" for all my friends
• how she intensely stood her ground over moral issues and I'm better for it
• when she would say "Blame me!" when I didn't want to do something but didn't know how to tell people
• how she always asked for prayer, because she TRULY believed in it
• how they somehow came up with enough money to take a family of 5 on AWESOME vacations...yes vacationS.
• how she devoted her nights to braiding my wet hair into Medusa braids so it would be "crimpy" in the morning
• how she devoted her mornings to curling my hair with hot rollers if I didn't want "crimpy"
• that she would listen to hundreds of chapter books being read out loud while she dried, curled and fixed my hair every morning
• our special way of signing letters- "LYLLYBLYLALP"
• our special way of tucking me in-"Love You Little, Love You Big, Love You Like A Little Pig"
• that I never knew when she slept, usually went to sleep after me and was awake before me
• that she collected creepy old people figurines and would give them "baths" in the tub with Kitchen Klatter
• that she gave our mini blinds "baths" in the tub with Kitchen Klatter too
• that she was a mad woman in the spring when she was cleaning, and so were we
• how the kitchen was decorated in blue with little white ducks for the longest time...and that always fit her
• that she didn't yell at me when I broke my arm in first grade but cradled me while we waited in the waiting room
• late night talks while she sat on my bed

Trudy Rosalee Albin Taylor was a good mama.  The best actually. 

 

Tattle Tongues

My tongue has been silent too long on here!  Where does the time go?

Notice that in my first sentence, I said "on here".  My tongue isn't ever silent for long!  A conversation with my 4-year old got me thinking about my tongue.  We always hear about gossiping.  There are blogs, devotionals, scriptures, songs, etc... written on this topic.  But our conversation wasn't about gossip.  I mean, really, what does a four year old gossip about?

Instead our conversation started like this...
J: Mommy, you know what _______ said to me at (the babysitter) today?
Me:  No, buddy.  What?
J:  She called me stupid!
Me:  Oh no...I'm sorry!  That's not very nice, huh?
J:  Nope.
Me:  What did (the babysitter) say?
J:  She made her sit in time out.
Me:  Oh, well do you ever have to sit in time out?
J: Nope!  I'm always good.  (HA!)
Me: Does Miss Kennedy ever have to sit in time out?
J: Nope.  She'd just get up. (HA! again!  He's smart!)

                  *names left blank to protect the "innocent" :)

Now I am sure my kid has to sit in time out just like all the others, but what I found funny is that he wanted to make sure I knew why the other kids were in trouble!  When we ask about his day, his response is ALWAYS "I played".  Real informative.  But if I want to get dirt on some other kid, I know who to ask!

It got me thinking about when does "tattling" start?  Jackson's been at it for awhile.  His friends, me (biting my nails...sheesh), his sister (his favorite I think), daddy, and anyone else he sees doing something he thinks is naughty.  But you know, I think Kennedy does it and she doesn't even talk!  If Jackson tries to get something she has, she yells at him and yells at me to look! 

By the time I get them in third grade, they are pro's at this thing called tattling.  They will rat out their best friend or their archenemy for accidentally stepping on their toe to cheating off their paper.  One of my teacher friends conied the phrase "ask tattling".  This is when students say "Are we supposed to get a drink during the test?" when they are no where near the water fountain but another kid happens to be there.  Talk about throwing somebody under the bus!

And man!  Can we stick it to each other as adults.  Tattles can take you a long way if you don't get caught.  You may look angelic, but you may also lose a lot of friends along the way.  Ever heard "the squeaky wheel always gets the grease"?  If we tattle enough, someone is going to do something just to get us to shut up!

Sadly, I don't know the cure for the "tattling tongue" except holding each other accountable and soul searching prayer.  If you aren't sure whether you are a tattler or not, ask yourself "Am I just trying to get this person in trouble?"  "Could that action cause bodily harm?"  "Are they breaking a real law/rule?"  "Does my opinion just clash with what is happening?"  "Am I trying to get ahead by broadcasting someone's mistake?"

No show of hands necessary.  I know.  It's a gut-check.

Check yourself and I'll work harder too.  Somewhere along the line, we CAN break the chain.  'Cause who likes a tattler?

Little Piece of Perfection

Just when you think life is perfect, just when you think life is easy...God says, "Hang on honey".

Instead of boring you with all our "new normal" things, you can check it out here or here.  Now to add to our ever changing lives, we are HAPPY (and scared to death) to announce that Baby Barnard #3 is on it's way, making his or her appearance in December!

Let me tell you...the emotions that have run through this house over the last few weeks!  We are scared, excited, blessed and nervous about all these changes.  Isaiah 55: 8-9 says: 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

No, this was not planned...in our books anyway.  But His ways are always perfect.  He always knows the bigger picture.  This baby was never unplanned, never unwanted, never had bad timing. 

So now, we're thankful. 

We wait on our third little piece of perfection with joyful anticipation. 

What a joy to share this news with you!  Please pray with us for a healthy baby, healthy mommy and healthy pregnancy.  I go to the doctor on Monday and will hopefully have more information then!

God's been good!  For you, mama.  I know you'd be proud.

Tick Tock, Goes the Clock

Everyone keeps asking "How much longer?" 

I never have the right days, weeks or even months to tell them.  Counting days is too hard! 

So, today I sit and try to figure out exactly how many more...

* 17 more days to teach at my sweet elementary school

* 17 days before I turn my little ducklings free to become "too cool" 4th graders

* 5 days until we wrestle 175 third graders through the gates of a Springfield Cardinals game and remind 175 kids NOT to pick the grass on the field

* 4 more Sundays of driving back from a united weekend

* 4 more weekends of living with our parents

* 4 more weekends of scattering my kids' clothes here, there and yonder

* 30 more days until we (supposedly) close on our FIRST home!

* 30 more days until Jeremy has a massive coronary from signing our lives away! (okay, not funny...but kinda)

* 30 more days of packing up a home (oy vay!) and only 17 more to pack up a classroom and move it to storage!

* 110 days until I start teaching at my old stomping ground of California

* 110 days until we HAVE to have another babysitter (sniff!)

* 3 1/2 more weeks of missing Sunday and Wednesday night service at LBC

Wow!

Some numbers are staggering.  Others are exciting.  Some I want to make time stand still.  Others I want to spur along.

So many changes, all measured by time.

We've got this.  It's already been 94 days since everything changed.  Pfft-we're on the downhill slide!

And you know what?  We're okay.

That's What Friends are For

I believe God is trying to mold me into the type of friend I see around me.  He is humbling me by putting obstacles in my path where I need others.  He is showing me how to see beyond myself.

At first I thought, "Wow...these people must love me so much!  All I have to do is ask and they rescue me!"

Now I think, "Ouch...would I be so kind and giving?  I hope so.  I want to be."

For example...hmmm-where does one start?  This lesson has been repeated many times in my life. 

• Let me start with the birth of our first son.  Our next door neighbor/dear friend that I still cling to (Bonnie, please never tire of me!) came and cleaned our house, took out the trash and even sorted the recycling while we were at the hospital!  All we asked for her to do was let out the dog!  She went above and beyond and it's something I will never forget.  She saw what needed to be done, and she did it.
• Family has cleaned an apartment, a duplex and a house, moved our little family 3, almost 4 times in the 7 years we've been married.  That deserves a gold star!
• Church family, friends, and real family have watched our kids whenever we need an emergency sitter. 
• People have brought meals to our house after births, deaths, sickness, new chapters of life beginning, etc... We have been well fed!
• Fellow teachers have graded papers, watched school kids, grabbed me a Diet Coke from Sonic "just because" or taken my lunch duty when I was SO pregnant I couldn't even waddle down the rows of tables.
• Just this morning I had a flat tire, no husband, no tire iron and a broken jack and a friend turned around on her way to school, came back and loaded me and my two kids in her van to take us to school and the sitter.  Now she gets to drive us back home!  (You're a jewel Suzanne!)
• Now I have an old church friend coming to my house tonight to fix my flat tire!

Honestly, my list could go on, and on, and on, and...well, you get the idea.  He is trying to teach me to step out of my comfort zone, help a friend in need without thinking of the inconveniece to my own schedule so my FRIENDS will know that they can always count on me, for sure.  Because that's what friends are for.

P.S.  I'm sorry if I'm taking a long time to learn this lesson.  I'll try to do better.